full circle 2

Full Circle because when i started work at the refuge 7 yrs ago I had just exited a family situation which was abusive. I was to discover that many workers in DV had a similar family experience - you now you are drawn to what it is that you know. This was a revelationary time for me as in the workplace and in training I was learning the theory of what I had lived for 20 odd years. The cycle of violence http://www.police.qld.gov.au/programs/crimePrevention/dv/Cycle.htm and the power and control wheel http://www.nnsvs.org.nz/images/generic/power_control_wheel_eng.gif were tools we used to teach women trapped in the cycle of abuse and trying to escape Dv situations to become aware of the the nature of this misuse of power.It also helped women understand how they gave their power away to the abuser and how the situation also trapped their children in this cycle. I had lived this for many years as had my children.

So i had packed up and moved, as many women do often many times, back to my mother's home primarily for financial reasons. I simply could not afford to provide a home for my children and keep everything going  - and there were many things going on at that time. I learned the tactics which abusers use and saw it being lived out in other women's lives as I ad experienced. I witnessed the struggle women endured to ensure their children weren't disadvantaged by living in a single parent household, essentially denying the other parents involvement in their daily lives. I witnessed the grief and loss attached to the family unit. I recognised and witnessed the judgment of women who had lived this terror in silence, this judgment came from refuge workers in different and often subtle ways, police, family and the greater community. This was shocking for me to witness and it was something that I found very difficult to challenge - when I did of course I inevitably alienated myself from other workers.

  

full circle 1

full circle because when family breakdown occurred for me about 7yrs ago a friend who worked in a women's refuge suggested I apply f or a job as a child support/crisis worker there. I did and got the job despite not having any experience in community sector or any relevant  qualifications. i did however have a degree in Community Ed. and a couple of years in PhD feminist studies. I also had experience in family trauma ( personal). Unfortunately I also seemed to 'look' like I fitted the workplace culture; something about the right presentation and being educated. I took the job (3 days per week/ permanent) at an hourly rate I had not earned before ($19), The work was a mix of case management and program planning. It was ok however the team was fractured in its world view on feminism and this was reflected in the treatment of women. I found this to be very disturbing and soon identified that the culture of the service was to re-traumatise women escaping DV. 

I got to attend professional development training which was cool and did so whenever the opportunity presented. Trauma training - this was great as it gave me language to put around what was happening at the refuge; parallel processing where what was going on (often unspoken)between the workers was unconsciously reflected in the behaviours of the clients  and this was especially so as the context was a residential service. I also did the mandatory child protection training and as a group we attended 'cultural awareness' training.  We also had supervision provided by an external counsellor based largely on the premise that we as a team were 'unmanageable'. Never a good reflection on hte actual managers skills when this is the accusation. So i learned here how to be part of a community organisation and also learned what type of organisation I did not want to be part of. 

SO i guess I have identified this full circle as the professional full circle based also on the fact that I now work back in DV as a training officer with government and train refuge and other workers around court support work for women who are escaping DV/ family violence. It is a pretty good full circle on this professional front and I feel i have the knowledge and experience to do this work and look back to that refuge work as the seed of the work I do now.         

45 approaching and what's it all about?

So twenty + years of raising a family in Sydney, working in healing and community and still I am struggling to rent a place that fits what's left of my family; myself a cute little grey cat and two of my teenage children. Ok I concede i have grown up in a part of Sydney that is privileged and increasingly expensive. I also concede that I 'chose' to care for my children as they were young and growing rather than pursuing a 'career' or work as I call it. Having gone to uni late and moved into working more than full time I now have an exceedingly healthy CV to email out to people and can boast a healthy number of workplaces in one week - 5, no 6 last count. Yes on any given week or maybe fortnight for the first six months of this year I worked across 6 different work contexts.

There was TaFE NSW (2 different areas; community and multi-cultural unit), a Sydney campus of one of the main universities in NSW, an Aboriginal Cooperative, and gosh I am struggling to remember the others but they are there on my CV. I have really enjoyed these workplaces even though as a casual teacher/lecturer/facilitator it is stressful work that appears to pay well at an hourly rate (between $67 and $150 hr), and I have learned so much from students and the various subjects taught. I am happy to say i have just landed my first permanent job in the public service with Legal Aid Commission in a niche area that provides services to women escaping domestic violence. Of this I feel very proud as it seems full circle in a couple of ways.